There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize