We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
