Well apparently he's into motor boating.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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