I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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