Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
