shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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