We won't sleep together?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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