i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
