I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
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she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
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I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
How naked do you want me to be?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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