Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
