I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
