I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize