just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
