We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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