Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
