idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm bleeding and have questions
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
