I heard we made out
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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