I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
