Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
