I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Everclear isn't food dammit
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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