btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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