Whod you bang
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
