Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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