you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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