I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
