Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
