You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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