I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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