i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
