Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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