Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
it glows. i had to have it.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
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