David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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