We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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