Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Boobs speak an international language.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize