I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
