yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
