idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
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