Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
