it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
