A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
