You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
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Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
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Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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