well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
