i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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