OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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