i can't believe i had my finger in that
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
