I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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