This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
