is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
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He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
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How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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