she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
