yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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