you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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