Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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