He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
