I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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