He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
We need to rekindle our bromance
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
i think i just lost a toe
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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