Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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