I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
