you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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