please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
