You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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