Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
