Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
